Druthers

by

It’s the darkest night I had ever seen, darker than the shadows of melancholy surrounding me hollows and whispers all around, echoes keeping me alive by there visit, the world was there my world woven in a single child the single soul still alive in my life. “ Father, I can’t sleep it’s very dark inside,” said the only living voice, “Come my child, Let’s fight the darkness together” “You don’t feel ok today”. “No Alan it’s ok how can I serve you”. Whispered a banal voice inside, and I actually knew what he was going to ask but didn’t know this time he’s all ready to tickle the pages wrinkled from ages. “Would you tell me a story father” He finally asked softer than a feather with an affinity no one could afford to lose. “Of course, which story would you like to hear” and that was the only answer I have. “ the legends or what about bandit and pirates” the only twist I could give. “Promise me you won’t deny” and again it was a mistake I did, a good mistake maybe. “ You told me once, I remind you of someone, tell me, tell me her story” Although it was a question I have been dodging from years but escaping from something one deserves to know I had no right or even ground from where I could run to face your fears seems easy to say but not the same to handle. I could see in front of my eyes pixels taking place colors flying by and time reversing like a rhyme for the story which never meant to be started and for the story which never ended, so don’t ask me any explanations for the story that can’t be believed or stated.
Once upon a time,“Hey Anthony look what I have brought”
“That’s a beautiful hat bill”
“Aren’t you prepared, we have our first day at university”.
Education was a privilege not adored by everybody and to be at the prestigious state university was a dream I always desired and somehow I managed to have a scholarship although technically it wasn’t that sort of meritorious scholarship it was a gift of kindness a boat in the most severe storm.
My father was a blacksmith and to admit this he was a talented one and back then we were obviously the best in the town and the place where I learned to built from scrap to the shiniest swords and among them there was that acme dagger with the mark of Duke Albertino and as the wired name of his was his abstract nature a little hard to understand for anyone I’ll say, I didn’t know much about him neither many of the peoples do, one day he asked whether I would like to study and somehow I do manage to say yes, next morning my father told someone has dropped a gift, a bag full of money was laid there on our doors and so that’s how I managed my admission ready to be a student of engineering from a blacksmith my life turned the cards were swapped and a gush of energy flowed.
“No bill I haven’t, you know how costly our books are, I can’t even properly see-through while holding them” Then suddenly something different happened time started to move more in phases like a small frame of a single movie like a perfect montage, so slow that I still remember every single second of it, just like the old classical movies Alan just like those old classical movies. “Hahaha what’s an old classical movie dad”
“Don’t worry child soon you’ll be seeing those irritating flicks full of excitement and laughs but conspired to be in slow motions”
“So what happened to Anthony next”
“well you have to hear the story, my child, in order to realize it”
Slowly I guess Anthony’s leg tumbled on a small stone placed specifically and mathematically just for him like it was supposed to be there like he was meant to step and fall due to it. “And so Anthony fled in the air with books flying around like birds experiencing their first flight getting free from long bound cages his hand spread the widest having no idea about the next instant.
“Hey man take care said a familiar man sorry from nearby, god knows in what hurry this old man is” said bill angry on a passerby
“So, father did you fall, didn’t the passerby stopped to help you”
“Yes, Alan Anthony fell, and you can’t trust people nowadays “ But see my child he wasn’t alone on the ground this time, he felt the touch of the softest skin he has ever felt the most fragrant hairs he has ever smelt the deepest eyes in which he drowned at the instant, as he never liked the yellow his whole life but unquestionably yellow became his favorite color from that moment, as her yellow fabric stole his hatred. Slowly but conscious to realize he has fallen on the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his entire life but he didn’t know what change it will bring in his lifetime
“I’m sorry extremely sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t saw…..” and so does the stammers ushered from the nervous lad“It’s ok, we can blame that stone some other time”
Oh! he was in the transcendental stage now, hearing the sweetest, rhythmic and the poetic voice he has ever heard, just getting frozen there, frozen in the summer heat.
“Come on mister give me your hand “ a second later but he did like a slave spellbound to the mystic lady, she stood like a statue of venus and just walked away..”
“Dad but how could she walk away, I’m already in love with her you have to stop her dad, you have to stop her”
“Stop was the word he said and the brightest star just stopped in the way”
And on the ground, there was an envelope stating from A to A.

“Wake up father wake up what happens next, wake up”
“Wake up so said the Anthony, he shook his father increasing the amplitude from calm to violent from violent to helpless, only to realize the day he has always imagined once as a child has finally arrived exactly the way he dreamt seeing his father in his old rusty chair drunk as he was always weak a body without any breath leaving behind an old broken furnace and a mold to cast his burning broken future  and a child with no education, no money no bread to eat except a box filled with darkness
“But father you said he went to college and isn’t he just found his love as everything was going so good”
“Time has always been a mystery my child a puzzle which only ceases at infinity”
“What happens, next father”
With a pause the story has to begin again, Divided broken separated yet not willing to be suppressed the child started working, with his sweat labor and with several mistakes, finally, he has rebuilt the furnace the only thing he has started building from his first breath he burned himself in the only thing he knew, which can bring some coins, capable to fill the stomach of this starving boy, still, the night was dark storm came to the clouds burst wind blew the fastest it could days came and end but he never came out just the strike of a raging hammer was heard so loud that only the sound could cut, the sound of melancholy was undoubtedly ruling his life they say he always lived alone sometimes people hear him scream scratching the walls playing with the shadows going old with his reflection the only friend he had.
Only the devil knows what he used to make.
“What about love father, didn’t he loved anyone,” said an innocent child “ didn’t he ever felt the so-called feeling of love”
“Love is a beautiful word my child, it really is” I closed my eyes again, the lights always hiding only when you seek them“Alan you know, Anthony worked all his life and with all the money he earned, he climbed up, up in the mountains, and as per the rumors say he bought an old mine, which was left unexplored”
Machines started to work, he invested his life in something that wasn’t even certain but only this time he wasn’t disappointed, gold started to rush like water and in a single day his destiny was changed he became the rich shiny Alberto.”
“At last Anthony was happy now, wasn’t he father”
“Like sand my child, even you can’t grab happiness in your arms” still when I look back I didn’t know how the destiny would have played that night. “ You can’t trap destiny, my child you just can’t”
“Now my child the seasons have changed, it didn’t spring anymore autumn has finally come”
And here our friend Anthony wasn’t that hardworking boy anymore addicted to liquor and gambling dancing on the streets he rose and fall.
Nothing lasts forever the short smile was vanished he lost for once and for all it was autumn my child leaves dry and then they fall. All lost now he was fortune came but he couldn’t hold back dragged the life he was addicted to.
“Why the world’s so cruel to him father why”
“I can understand my child the world can’t but I have felt that pain my child” He tried to kill himself several times but failed miserably, like happiness even death has refused to stand by his side. One cold night holding his lustrous dagger he wrapped all the remaining gold carrying a strange stone he started to run as faster as he could run from the world running from gloom running towards the future calling past loudest as he could defeating the light even in her own game. After that, the world has never seen him again.
“Did he died father, tell me what happened”
“No one has seen him from that moment my child but..”
“But, but what father”
“But some says he went back in the time several times, maybe hundreds of time just to meet failure only failure whatever he did whatever he tried, it was always a failed attempt, just like a butterfly effect without any butterflies, holding a sealed letter he roamed everywhere”
Suddenly the curtains were moved to a side, everything was changed the dark night was gone and vanished, it was really a very bright day, just like a reflection of the sun, Zest surrounded the whole ambiance there was a pure sense of elation everywhere like a whisper of joy echoes of happiness walking by
“Father what happens next”
“Anthony won’t you tell him how the story ends,” said one of the sweetest voice spoken by the most beautiful women ever alive wearing a flamboyant yellow dress, cherishing an avid fragrance, only vividness could be felt, decorated by a gorgeous smile.
“Until that day..” I have somehow got my voice back and then I said the story I was willing to describe from ages “Until that day, this time he placed a stone a small stone calculated, measured and placed it precisely at a single point at the proper location with the labor of several years, several failed attempts succeded with a desire to grin for a lifetime, he just left that stone and the fluttering butterfly played the rest symphony for the history accompanied by a letter reading from A to A.“Isn’t it the love of my life”

By- Kshitij Sinha
29/2/2016

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