Day 2 of nothingness, so then why not part 2 continues and I was thinking the whole day about this particular moment this particular moment where I’ll try to bring meaning. The whole journey a whole day forced to form meaning, a void to realize there’s a purpose and a subtle yet beautiful meaning in the art of waiting…patience and the desire to strengthen that something bigger awaits.
The Connecting River/Lake
There’s a singularity of uniqueness in all the differences that exist and the opinions that thrive to make sure that you realize neither all the fingers are the same neither any of them ever wanted to be the same. Just like a lake and a river where the river flows but the lake circulates among itself… it’s still, the river battles with turbulences curving and bending from one end to another it travels the unknown and unprecedented, whereas the lake relaxes being circular the end of all the curves…it expands and it diminishes it’s neutral and peaceful in a glittering way. Nowadays I don’t find dreams hovering me neither bad neither sad neither nightmares neither a fancy levitating tale, it’s just not there it’s just not present as if I’m missing something as if something has turned it’s face away, as if I disappointed the bright angle in an uncertain way as if my apologies are fearing to console all the lovingness I ever had, waking up late is procrastination and waking without them is tempting and considerate in million ways. Have you seen a coin and the two faces it has, let’s suppose I’m holding it let’s suppose I tossed it and closing your eyes just start imagining the multitude of myriad spins it’ll explore and sway turning and be twisting falling back in the fist it has just left. Now start guessing what the result would be, so is it right or is it wrong who am I to decide without even realizing what’s at the end of it.
Maybe prejudice has ruled me, but then what’s the excitement or what’s the point in tossing the coin in the first place, the hunt awaits it always has. Roaming here and there with the foolish poker face smiling like a rebel pseudo just the way you may never expect, but all of a sudden today I met someone extremely talented…dancing on the music with splendid steps, leaving the chase and getting engaged (don’t give that look, it’s exactly what she said) you know the moment you heard this the engines of mind exploding and concluding questioning and judging raised several questions as so did mine but trust me how much it may feel wrong but she is satisfied and she is happy maybe it’s early or maybe it’s a decision changing how the future she has seen for herself or what if it’s a rope to pull and escalate her in the path she deserves to stay……………….
Ok, I guess it’s not the ending you may have expected it’s abrupt it’s ambiguous but it is what it is abrupt and haphazard when the path you have always wanted to be streamlined and straight, just like the pebbles just like the stones and just like the path connecting the two worlds of opposite ends the bridge in the river of ambitions or over the lake of stooping nothingness. Where one end boasts of glass doors and finest artifacts and the other of cattle and hens noise of children playing in chaos flies and moths mosquitoes and Rotwillers accepted in a collateral beauty, where you can’t even breathe the fresh fragrance of air as on the other counterpart you see you imbibe stress, stress which now restricts to be a force, it absorbs and bites exhaling calmness it thrives a world you want to lead the life of someone else and that someone is still searching the end of the coin.
Sometimes I wonder struggling between these two counterparts how would it be for a second to be none except the river of well-dressed illusion and the lake of satisfaction just to be there connecting in the epicenter as just to sit and absorb in the center….seeing the ducks swim, hearing the bird’s tweet throwing pebbles which will eventually sink but for a second being alone surrounded by everyone else and being everyone but being alone in the mask I always wear. The connecting river/ lake do listen to me in the sleep as I pray