Assumptions and Accusations

Who we’re and what’re we here for definitely these are the questions whom I never knew nor I even tried to get. Yet I knew the difference between a life with and without purpose. I knew recently my exams were going on although I hated those days every day wishing for its end yet when they’re gone the last thing there will be, is to enjoy. I just can’t enjoy my new life although stressed, disturbed, anxious but i was kept busy and active for the concept of cause for a purpose, waking up early in the morning realizing I never slept in the nights, from the time I went to sleep to the time my alarm took off the only thing I did was keeping my eyes closed praying for the angel of dreams holding the wand of happy slumber to return maybe for minutes but instead she whispered what have you done, what have you achieved to earn my company and the ether’s answer kept hunting me. Flickering the pages yet not understanding anything like a whole world conspired to form this unbreakable theory, or was just my mind and memory simply denying to accept it.

And just like that as simple as that I was balancing on the rope between the twin towers being the cynical, except the bridge neither the tower of rationality nor the one of madness accepted me. Although not a new feeling, I love to be the kite flying under the high turmoils of the gushed wind with no strings attached and no particular destination to swift. Just like that as simple as that never expected to be anywhere yet the possibility to be everywhere although I knew the vagueness of this nebula, how suffering and painful it could be but it always sounded cool especially the part of infinity, a figure you never saw a destination that never exists the mansion you will never reach. Especially if you can name someone horizon definitely his thoughts would never be fixed, constant and the last thing he will search for is definite, just like his name residing in the land of imaginary, not his fault I’ll say as it feels elated and relieved to blame others, being the questionnaire and answer yourself.
I used to go through the roads of bewilderment with chaos, wished luck by the angel of multiple benevolence and hugged by the emptiness. With everything except the calm mind, I sat in exams with shaky hands formed stories with mysterious keywords attached, whom I never understood not knowing but creating my own solutions, not in particular but almost everywhere. Being a strong believer of marks is just a number and a single sheet of paper can’t decide my future, not because I trusted these quotes but just because it came as a good alibi a consolation to living and a questionable part of yours.
Yes, you have to mostly help yourselves, unlike others, I only have myself to comment and compliment to form assumptions and accusations on the basis of that it has to be me the only person in the entire universe whom I have given the right to worsen my day and to find millions of ways to describe how good it was, like a blessing in its own disguise, the only companion in long walks the only person I know who will stay, as when I couldn’t escape away from him mutually I befriended him. So after these two hours of story writing I went to fulfill my rituals, I know that’s superstitious of me yet it has never harmed anyone, sometimes it’s good to know where you’re next stop will be. Analyzing the office of percentage seed examiner, imagining a man with the seed of microns just measuring it one by one, selecting, judging and distributing the perfect and imperfect one apart, guess fight for survival is everywhere, maybe highly paid but that’s the kind of life I couldn’t thrive for, sorry but I can never even be a good seed examiner at all, making sure to return late obviously to avoid the discussion of right and wrong where I gained or where I lost the marks as that’s something I stopped taking care of long ago.
I liked watching traffic hearing noises it does helps me in calming down my brain, I know it’s skeptical but I cherish it this way and similarly, the loop went on just like that as simple as that, seating at the bank of possibilities throwing the pebble of assumptions and accusations just to see how they jump forming the distressed ripples. Now when exams are over and for a brink of a second, the silence has arrived, before they strike with a bigger reinforcement.
I don’t stay in that exhaustiveness nor I’m enjoying this lavish leisure, waking up hours and hours late always missing breakfast the most important meal of the day, some talk with nowhere to go and ruler of all watching movies an easy way to pass the day, so is it what I’m here for just to pass the moment just to put bricks in the wall of void filling the blanks just to pass another course of life. Sorry to say but I was happier in the bewilderment, what I lack is just a purpose, and believe me life with a purpose may not sound that cool but the more you look the less you see.
You know when you’re happy the most the most part of you wants to stay that way, you ask what can be more important than this. Putting everything of yours to stay in that abode of solace and obviously, not everyone fails most people cruise the life happily but some later start to question

Accepting the beautiful possibility…Sometimes I don’t understand why people hate someone and love others knowing that they are all pieces of life…Isn’t it at the last breath of your life you wanted to die free of jealousy and hate and want to apologize for any hurt you have done to anybody in your entire life and embrace every moment of it and wanna become free of everything….The world would have very beautiful if we accepted everything the way it is… Think about the freedom that we would all have at that time, that we all want… Free from everything…(The most beautiful part of this whole piece)

And I love the depth hidden in it, one can only say that if and only if they have cared for someone and about love, it’s such a thing which either you’re still doing or you never did.

Dear, the world is the way it is only one of its kind we fight from it complain of it, yet in the end, it’s all we got our own single disturbing yet lovely world full of possibilities to hurt and smile and reasons to be anything you want. Nothing permanent nothing ever was and that’s the most beautiful part of it. It carries emotions cry out loud enough to be heard and smile enough for only you to captivate. We get the love we think we deserve and this world deserves the best of it. Guess that’s the least contribution we can give to this world of fragrance.

No doubt people change as people including us in anything and everything is bound to change as nothing is real, everything is subjected to death and decay.
But let’s have assumptions and let’s have accusations let the people change and let’s have the ability and inability to cope up with any change being every change, let’s just submit ourselves and till then-

Assumptions &Accusations overruled
Just like that as simple as that.

By- Kshitij Sinha