Day 4

by

(A note from the protagonist-I don’t think that I’ll be able to write today and it’s skeptical to see where the experiment is going as there were certain jeopardy in the previous article, the juggling between I and he was evident yesterday, slowly but rapidly I could see I escalating over the narrator, draining all the hopes and preparations for the day, depriving a deserved smile, as I am devastated and painful to look over I’ll try the extent I can go and will see how much progress the experiment has really been)
Today I don’t have much to write as it was a pretty dull day a morbid one for sure and very less to take out as if the nectar has magically disappeared, the problem of element x could be felt uprising today however when I see Kshitij now he just doesn’t take much interest and the same could have been seen declining from the counterpart according to the theory and algorithms of the care he once received, the mind was tricked supposing to see a sense of fear and affection yet guess the bar has been higher than expected for a person that has been tremendously changed. As usual and expected Kshitij woke late as it’s been evident that the biological clock is now reset to this downfall routine because Kshitij didn’t set any alarms for the morning and even without that screeching cacophony he woke up at 11.30 not more not less, wonder how our body gets used to certain habits and deviations they say it takes 21 days to form a habit yet according to my opinion it takes fairly less, maybe 4 or 5 days is enough to shape you in a new routine especially when it’s related to procrastination or laziness, when you have lost hopes and have decided to give up it just takes a fraction of second and exactly their you are…. why everything that tastes bad is nutritious or why any habit that doesn’t fit even the list of decent is so easy to attain giving an underdeveloped and unfulfilling mindset.Did saw Kshitij wait for the bus but found a traveler instead, don’t worry the fare was rs 15 only but more comfortable in certain ways. Did saw the driver stopping the vehicle for a second he went and brought a cucumber also sharing with his traveling partner, but he ate that raw even without peeling and it seemed wired to me, as I have never eaten it that way but they seemed unharmed and unaffected by the bitterness it might have, they also didn’t wash it, not like I’m a hygiene freak yet sometimes I wonder that why the chain smokers hardly die of cancer instead of the person who has never even touched it acquires it so quickly and gradually falls into mimiserability, being dependent and depressed. So should we enjoy or keep continue taking precautions from our side, I don’t know the answer except uncertainty is the name of living, yet never leave any certainty for the sake of it, my mother always used to say this. I haven’t talked with her from several days now did try to but it all went in vain, wish they’re fine as my parents are recently in Mumbai for verifying the further reports of my father’s cancer treatment, it has been a tough time for our family, for all of us, it has affected us emotionally, physically, financially and belongingly, sometimes I wonder if I could have been with them, it’s not like I could have visited earlier it’s just I feared of the person I have been becoming I fear showcasing that Kshitij. Kshitij was tensed the whole day and I could see that in his eyes the mirror of our souls, especially the souls who intently decide to starve and stay hungry. Monks do starve to death being part of a ritual, and I guess Kshitij also wishes to be a part of that,  just to feel that hallucination. You know Kshitij has starved before and for a lot, many times in reality, especially at times of utter loneliness it gives you a feeling closer to your physical being, closer to your body, to starve brings you close to you slowly, your head will start paining, your eyes will start losing sight, your strength will decrease as the muscle weakens, the load of your hands and legs could be felt declining it’s a feeling of being high like being drunk or inhaling fresh green weeds. Had an Indian version of milkshake called lassi for lunch told stories of vague novels whom I have read drew the cryptix as I always do, breathed or just inhaled, it was just another day of nothingness, maybe nothingness would be so proud today as it was the best day for it, a victory unclaimed as I congratulate it. Faced only defeat even while playing the game of table tennis, couldn’t even go to meet the friends who just faced rejection as it could have felt better talking to someone, couldn’t even talk to my parents as the cellular network betrayed today, my grandmother didn’t pick the call and my nanaji (maternal grandfather) had to attend guests, it feels pity to beg relatives for a better job offer, one they tend to avoid, I really need a friend in life, sometimes guess we all do, none of them even arrived at “office” today, though did have an unmeaningful conversation with known strangers, but truthfully… after losing the words from element x and just letting her go I do feel a void and maybe some voids are just never meant to be filled, we just get used to it.I bow to nothingness today and even congratulate for this unanimous victory, leaving me so bankrupt that I can’t even go out and have dinner with my roommates. Life can be depressing and guess fiction at times can be far far better than reality

By- Kshitij Sinha
24/8/2018

198 thoughts on “Day 4”

  29. Hey! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform
    are you using for this website? I’m getting sick and tired
    of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers
    and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.
    I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

    Reply

  32. Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just too
    fantastic. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really
    like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to
    keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you.
    This is actually a great site.

    Reply

  33. Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good
    success. If you know of any please share. Cheers!

    Reply

  40. Ardından karşına rexbet kayıt formu çıkacak. Bu formda senden bazı kişisel bilgiler talep edilecek. Bu bilgileri eksiksiz ve doğru bir şekilde doldurmalısın. Ardından siteye kayıt olduğun e-posta adresine bir aktivasyon e-postası alacaksın. Bu e-postayı onayladığın anda, Rexbet üyelik işlemin gerçekleşmiş olacak.

    Reply

  65. Thank you for another informative website. The place else may just I get that kind
    of information written in such a perfect way?

    I have a mission that I am just now working on,
    and I’ve been on the glance out for such info.

    Reply

  68. Hello there, I found your blog via Google even as searching
    for a comparable matter, your web site came up, it seems good.
    I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hello there, simply turned into aware of your weblog thru Google, and located
    that it’s really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels.
    I will be grateful for those who proceed this
    in future. Many other people might be benefited out of your writing.
    Cheers!

    Reply
  71. Pingback: madridbet
  72. Pingback: meritroyalbet

  74. I will right away take hold of your rss as I can’t find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

    Reply
  75. Pingback: meritroyalbet
  80. Pingback: eurocasino

  83. Normally I do not learn post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you, very nice post.

    Reply

  90. Aw, this was a very good post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a really good articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I hesitate a lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

    Reply

  122. Thanks for some other great article. The place else may anybody get that type of information in such an ideal way of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I am on the search for such info.

    Reply

  131. I truly appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thank you again Jacintha Erasmus Nissensohn

    Reply

  133. I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I?ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I am quite certain I?ll learn a lot of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

    Reply

  144. Chrome-plated steel is generated by dipping average steel into an electrolyte solution consisting of chromium and utilizes electrolysis to produce the layer.

    Reply

  169. When I originally commented I clicked the « Notify me when new comments are added » checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Thanks!

    Reply

  185. Hello! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

    Reply

  190. Aw, this was a really good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to create a very good articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I put things off a lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

    Reply

Leave a Comment