Dear Sulu…If I may
Sulu…It’s not just a word Sulu is not just a combination of four alphabets it’s a tune and it’s indeed a melody it’s my definition of affection care and love a prose I was not able to completely understand and a chapter I tried the most to get rid of but never can, Yes I miss you and yes I wish you were here next to me holding my hands placing your head on my shoulder and your warmth radiating as your lovely Bvlgari smell.
I won’t lie and why should I..as I was strolling on the colorful streets of Ahembdabad with kites roaring in the sky it reminded me of a promise I made to you and yes dear I meant every word when I said I’ll come and I’ll meet you yet things didn’t go as planned and I lost you somewhere in between the lines I lost my most precious possession I lost my home as you would have said, but as you say love brings freedom not possession and I was strong, I was firm and strong enough to exploit every aspect of your weakness, I let you cry, and I brought tears in your eyes I couldn’t stand you going away from me even the faintest idea of it was scary. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but yes it was true somewhere down the line I lost you.
I don’t know how can I proceed my words further ahead as this time we were not together holding our hands looking into our eyes, and I fear to face you dear as I won’t be able to stand a strong you hiding feelings behind a stealth face, I could deny anything but if you cried if tear comes into your eyes I won’t be able to hold myself.
The world is strange and now soon it’ll be a year to that day…still it feels like yesterday where I know that whatever happens, you won’t give up on me.
We talked recently isn’t it dear and now again I can’t keep you off my mind you’re there in every corner of it, your image is running here and there and it’s chaos here, as you can see I’m here back at the writing-table writing about you thinking about you.
For once Dear, I would love to meet you again, hold you talk to you, understand you, and cry with you.
Even we’re not together the truth is you were never away from me.
By- Kshitij Sinha
19/1/2020