I’m writing this to you for a sense of belongingness, for a sense of togetherness and for a sense of ownness, life isn’t easy and yet it’s a complete challenge to thrive in it again and again as everyday is just passing by like a fragment of sand that is just slipping again and again from my hands the more I try to hold it the more it escapes from my continuity as if it’s dejecting me the waves which were the blankets of my cold winter nights are not just accepting me anymore instead it’s choking me, like they have poured all there love in this force and strangling me is the only solution they have found to escape this vortex.
Sometimes I feel like a bird with a huge wingspan still easiest to spread them and loving to flap them again and again, again and again unless and until the only thing that’s visible to me is that never ending horizon, even the tiniest idea lits me.
It’s becoming very hard for me to write now, like every single word is a nail piercing deep in my singularity of conciousness, like a part of me the careful and beautiful part of me has suddenly vanished, I keep looking to it here and there in this aisle of darkness but it’s getting tough, not that I’m unable to locate it but I’m just failing in letting it go. Apart from all the asks I posses and apart of all the lies I masqurade about not being attached and careless, it’s only you and me who knows that it’s not the complete truth, like a costly wine it’s hitting me slowly with the every second passing by.
I guess I have to stop here Moavi, I can’t I just can’t proceed anymore. I beg that strength from you as my dear we all question ourselves and we all doubt our realities we all get betrayed by our biggest strengnths knowingly we are the ones who gave them this much freedom, in the end who we are abd what is indeed our identity as we gradually become dependent on others as we feel the need to seek out validator.
Yet the only aim should be to reach a point where you’ll realise no one else can fill that missing hole up other than yourself. Only you can make yourself fel secure, safe and comfortable. Only you can make yourself happy and peaceful.
By- Kshitij Sinha