A Profound Mismatch

 I see you with my eyes wide open
The numbness the calmness and the echo that follows
The drizzle and the mist…The walks and the empty hollows
It’s dark amidst this chaos albeit in the end…I witnessed the reflection alone
I don’t have the answers even the questions are shattered
I see a me fading away and the rest following…Was I good?
Was I atleast a good human even if for a second was I lively as your jovial smile
Was I better or just another broken tableau?
I hear the wind sing and I chose to be strangled as the water broke
It wasn’t you it was me…I want you to have me remembered as your firstborn
I was your child; Indeed I was their clementine 
I saw the world…Imbided in the comfort of your womb, I caressed the twin
With joy and elation…I chose to live, the only thing I asked and the only thing I could ever want
Yet… As truthful as the door ajar I was born and unborn
In a glimpse, in a flash in a flicker I saw and unsaw, I learned and I unlearned
I felt and the harder I tried I couldn’t forget the warmth
I hugged and cherished a lifetime, I saw the miracle only to realize I was the curse
The stillborn who couldn’t be still…A failure
A profound mismatch…blessed in disguise

By – Kshitij Sinha
13/7/2021

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