The first flower to blossom

Dear Moavi,
I am in love…A love I never was capable of and a love I’ll never harbor in my life
Dear Moavi, I’m in pain, pain to realize there’s an endless ocean of pain that I reside and Pain to know she’ll never be mine
In this letter, I have come to pen down today…In the mourning of my heart where I want your shade of warmth
Why this unfathomable desolate…Why this puzzle of intertwined emotions I couldn’t comprehend
Is this person really me? Dear Moavi, help me escape my mind…It demands mutiny 
To hold her hands to kiss on her forehead to keep peering at her radiant face and to spread my arms to enclose all of her 
To battle to die to be reborn and to count the breaths of lifetime 
I know it’s her, the one I always looked for the one I waited and waited for, yet why I couldn’t find her earlier
I’ll be moving away Dear, Wasn’t that the point…To experience loneliness despair helplessness and to understand melancholy as it is…
I never have thought that love would be the feeling, ushering me to the absolute shatter
The plateau of my fall and the annihilation I always longed for
As I break without any creek as I enunciate and swirl into pieces of all that defines me and all that was never me
I don’t know Dear what’s becoming of me

Dear Moavi, I’m in love
I have been transcended into the introspection of retrospection…I have lost my audacity and acumen
I’m the sacrificial lamb now and it’s love that has made me breathless…I’m gasping for her and I’ll die of anemic suffocation
My wish is turning into my curse and it’s the curse that will lead me to you

“A silent lake with the whisper of sea, the wavering winds over the curtains of moonlight…Twinkling stars and the sky of northern lights”
Why can’t I hold you and why none of it doesn’t make any sense without you?

By: Kshitij Sinha
04/08/2022

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